http://sophiejarryonstageandback.blog.sfr.fr/

electric black and white images from some of our most loved modern icons including alison mosshart, mgmt, the last shadow puppets, pete doherty and the kills

showing from january 27th 2010 at Proud Galleries, Camden

“coping with emotional chaos by reinventing sculpture through aesthetic insubordination, playing with worthless material amid the industrial ruins of a defeated nation that, only two decades earlier, would have murdered her without a second thought.” – Danto

Now showing at the Camden Arts Centre until 7th March 2010

http://www.camdenartscentre.org/exhibitions/?id=100746

No title (S-105), 1968, Fibreglass, polyester resin, plastic. Courtesy University of California, Berkeley Art Museum

J. Kerouac The Dharma Bums

FIGURE OUT A PLAN / SOMETHING TO AIM TOWARDS

I eyed her suspiciously from across the table as she ‘ummed and ahhhed’ her way down the dessert menu, discussing in the depth the pros and cons of each choice. Pear Torte: nice when the pears are poached correctly but can be too sweet. Apple Pie: has to be flaky and made with organic cane brown sugar, otherwise it tastes ‘store-bought’. Chocolate brownie with toffee sauce: for this one she called over the waiter, who she irritatingly called ‘Sir’. He was a fat Italian teenager with acne, not Ian Mckellan. “Are the brownies baked fresh daily?, ‘Are they made using cream or whole milk?’, ‘Can I exchange the toffee sauce for some fresh berries?’. It was almost as though she believed that cultivating a neurosis somehow made her seem experienced and worldly. This excruciating process carried on for a good five-minute period before she decided on two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Of course it was vanilla.

The presence of the fat waiter had been a welcome distraction from her painfully dull anecdotes about an assortment of her, I’m sure, equally dull friends. She had that annoying way of re-telling a story without background information, ‘And then John said the funniest thing’. Who the fuck is John and why do you seem to think I give a fuck about his most-likely pitiful wit.

I realised that she mistook my physical presence at the table as a sign that I was both interested in her and enjoying myself. I even started pulling out all of my best chauvinistic and racist jokes. I sprinkled the word ‘cunt’ quite liberally into conversation. In my desperation, I began to suggest quite bluntly that I was into bestiality.

The next day

‘How was that date last night?’

‘Fucking brutal man, worst 2 hours of my life’.

‘Was she hot at least?’

‘Nice tits, shame about the elbow stuck to her face’.

(extended laughter)

“You fuck her, then?’

‘Yep’.

2.    When he gets a tattoo of bobo fet and thinks it’s cool:

3.    When he’d rather spend his free time ‘online:’

4.    He did this to your younger brother:

5.    His attempt at growing a beard looks like this / he looks like this

1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say “could be better”. This will keep her on her toes. And girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Or, if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be”, repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement. And every girl needs some improvement.

6. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words “fuck you” and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

7. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because i can.”

8. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.

9. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

10. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket… then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to be bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

11. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her “no”. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

12. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like wanking.

13. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

14. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say “no, she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

15. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then smack her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

NY Times, 12/11/2009

DRESS CODES:NEW VICTORIANS:STRAIGHT OUT OF 1890′s.

Not to sound like a total bitch, but OMGfuckingG, it took hipster long enough to down its sad little can of PBR and go curl up and die. P.S. Skinny jeans boy, go locate your tucked-back cock&balls and re-adjust your testicle- sandwich camel toe. We can see your vagina.